You are about to marry the person you intend to spend your life with – ’till death do you part. This is a huge decision and not to be taken lightly. There are a few things that should be discussed before making the walk down the aisle and these conversations, however daunting and serious in nature, are best to have before the “I do”.
The topic that most couples shy away from is money – who wants to talk about debt? The reality is, when you get married, you will both take on each other’s financial strains and successes. Painting a very clear picture about the state of your personal finances is important since the first year of marriage will quickly determine your marital spending habits. On a positive note, this helps start the budgeting conversation early, talking about what you want to save for, setting yourself up for a joint account, and seeing what you as a couple is willing to spend a little more on. Being honest about finances isn’t easy but it is necessary for an honest and trustworthy relationship.
Many couples do not openly talk about their health concerns. In a marriage, both partners need to be aware what is going on to be able to support, proactively plan, and love unconditionally. Soon you will become “one” and both of you will bear what the other one is going through.
Your dream has always been living in a big house, a white picket fence, a cute dog named Scruffy and 2 adorable “mini you’s!” But…what is that isn’t the dream of the person you are about to marry? Have you talked about children? If not, now is the time to have that conversation since this is an area where you both need to be on the same page. You need to know if that’s something your partner even wants in their future. The result of not talking about children now can lead to hurt in the future and this conversation can help prevent that now.
We all love our parents in one way or another. However, boundaries need to be set for the sake of your marital bliss. Talk to them about it now before it becomes an issue. After your wedding day, every decision you used to make between you and your parents now involves one more stakeholder. The lines of communication can get crossed very easily when one partner wants to defend their family over their in-laws. There should be a level of respect to consider the counsel of both sides equally, but ultimately they are advisors, not dictators. You and your new spouse will need to make decision as one family unit, protecting yourself from undue drama and harm.
There are many exciting aspects of marriage and so many new things to experience. Having these conversations early can help prevent trouble later on and we want you to be set up for success! Enjoy every moment of wedding planning but don’t skip out on conversations that may cause a disagreement. Learning how to fight well and resolve conflicts now go a long way in your future married life. Trust one another and trust in the love that you have and the life that you want to build together. Remember, honesty is the best policy.
by Ashley Victoria Guy